Honest Opinion: Pelosi's Absurd Eyebrows Tell a Much Bigger Story
Non-Satire
On January 9th, Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi appeared on CBS’s premier Sunday show, Face the Nation. There was no pressing reason for Pelosi to appear, and the show’s host, Margaret Brennan, never challenged her at all. The end result was an aggressively boring interview.
Except for one thing.
Pelosi’s eyebrows appeared to be painted so high on her forehead that they were closer to her hairline than her eyes. They were also painted with such a severe, downward arch that Twitter’s meme-factory began producing comparison photos between Pelosi and Jack Nicolson’s portrayal of the Joker. Two days later, Tucker Carlson compared Pelosi to Michael Jackson. The conservative satire site, The Babylon Bee, ran the following headline:
If ever there was a moment to trumpet, “The emperor has no clothes!” this is it. But the deeper question is whether or not the emperor’s nakedness matters. Is he/she actually in charge? In many ways, this is the defining question of our times: Who is actually running this circus?
Pelosi’s comical appearance forces us to confront this question. After all, she is supposedly one of the most powerful elected leaders in America. Yet she is 81 years old, never says anything original or intelligent, her voice sounds like she carries an excess of saliva—a telltale sign of wearing dentures—and she has undergone so much plastic surgery that she resembles a supervillain. Could such an absurd person be in charge? It doesn’t seem likely.
Plus, Pelosi is not alone. Let us not forget political luminaries like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Lauren Boebert, Mitch McConnell, Cory Bush, Bernie Sanders, Adam Schiff, Ayanna Presley, Donald Trump, Kamala Harris and of course, Joe Biden. Everyone on that list is a real-life cartoon character, and we all know it. We also know that this list is only a tiny fraction of the Insane Clown Posse currently occupying the highest levels of government. So, what are we to make of this?
There are two options:
1.) The clowns are actually in charge.
2.) The clowns are not actually in charge.
Both are terrifying. Option One means that the world’s most powerful nation is captained by a gaggle of fools. If that’s the case, then it’s only a matter of time until we drown. Meanwhile, Option Two implies that our entire democratic system is a sham. If that doesn’t send a shiver down your spine, I don’t know what will. Plus, the situation becomes scarier when we take stock of what these clowns are potentially in charge of.
The United States of America is the world’s largest economy with a GDP of $21 trillion. Its closest rival is the People’s Republic of China, which boasts a GDP of $15 trillion, yet has four times the population. The United States commands the most powerful and expansive military in history. It has eleven aircraft carriers, ninety-two cruisers and destroyers, and eighteen Ohio-class submarines—each of which could destroy the entire world single-handedly. The Pentagon controls a vast network of orbital satellites used for surveillance and command and control—the likes of which no other country could even begin to match. Meanwhile, the U.S. military maintains over eight hundred bases worldwide, and dozens more that are “unofficial.” All of this—and much, much more—is operated by 1.3 million active duty service members.
How about the Intelligence Community? It is comprised of eighteen separate organizations, including the CIA, NSA, DIA and FBI. The CIA alone employs tens of thousands of people worldwide, conducting countless covert operations. The NSA is the largest signals intelligence agency in the world. It conducts dragnet surveillance of every scrap of data connected to every person in existence. The FBI has more than ten thousand special agents.
Then there’s the U.S. financial system. The Federal Reserve is the largest, and arguably most powerful, central bank on the planet. The U.S. dollar is the world’s reserve currency, which affords tremendous advantages to American banks and businesses—many of which are the largest in the world. Following 9/11, the U.S. Treasury was granted access to—and a degree of control over—the SWIFT System, based in Brussels. This allows major American banks to exercise considerable influence over global financial flows.
Then there is federal law enforcement. That includes ICE, the U.S. Marshal Service, the ATF, the DEA, and of course the FBI.
In short, the United States government is a massive, complex and extremely powerful colossus.
Here is another picture of Pelosi from her interview:
Are you going to tell me that this woman is one of the highest-ranking stewards of American power? All the submarines and satellites and intelligence agencies?
Now, you might be thinking that all that military stuff falls under the purview of the Executive Branch, right? So of course Pelosi has nothing to do with it!
Okay. Here’s another picture:
Feel better? I didn’t think so.
The fact is, very few of our most senior political figures seem fit to run an Applebee’s, let alone the entire country. When Pelosi paints her eyebrows on the middle of her forehead, or when Biden mumbles incoherently and shuffles off the stage, or when AOC lies about being in the Capitol on January 6th, or when Cory Bush uses the words “white supremacy” eight times in a single sentence, or when Kamala Harris pretends to care about space travel while surrounded by child actors, or when Lauren Boebert tries to bring her Glock into Congress, or when Eric Swalwell sleeps with a Chinese spy and no one cares—when all of these things happen on a routine basis it breaks the fourth wall of American Politics. It reveals the hideous secret that these people are actors reading a script. None of it is real. None of it matters.
Do you know why you can freely criticize politicians without fear of getting tossed into a dungeon somewhere? You wish it was because of the Constitution. But no. It’s because the politicians are not in charge. I assure you, if you tried to expose a real power player, someone operating from behind the scenes, you wouldn’t last twenty minutes.
The late, great investigative reporter Gary Webb (who apparently committed “suicide” by shooting himself in the face twice) once stated, “In seventeen years of doing this, nothing bad ever happened to me. I was never fired or threatened with dismissal if I kept looking under rocks. I was winning awards, getting raises, lecturing college classes, appearing on TV shows, so how could I possibly agree with people who claimed the system didn’t work, that it was steered by powerful special interests and corporations, and existed to protect the power elite? Hell, the system worked just fine as far as I could tell… And then I wrote some stories that made me realize how sadly misplaced my bliss had been. The reason I’d enjoyed such smooth sailing for so long hadn’t been, as I’d assumed, because I was careful and diligent and good at my job. It turned out to have nothing to do with it. The truth was that, in all those years, I hadn’t written anything important enough to suppress.”
Days after Biden’s disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan, Fox News contributor Laura Logan (another amazing investigative reporter) offered some sage advice for young journalists: the truth is always simple. People will offer ten thousand explanations for everything, and the illusion of complexity will swirl around every issue, but at the heart of every story lies a plain and simple truth.
Forget all the noise and all the details. Zoom out and look at the size and scope of American power. Can you see it? Can you see the globe-spanning military for what it really is? Can you see the CIA and the FBI and all the hundreds of departments and agencies and the trillions of dollars allocated to them every year? Can you see the giant companies and the banks and the conglomerates and the lobbyists and the law firms? Can you see the Colossus? It can arrest, kill or disappear anyone on Earth at any time, and no one can stop it. It can topple any government, seize any asset, and destroy the entire world a thousand times over. It is the largest, most complex and most powerful machine in the history of the human race.
But most Americans don’t see it that way. Why? Because this is the comical face of American leadership:
It’s time we stop kidding ourselves. These clowns are not in charge. Look at them. Listen to them. The truth is always simple.
In Mike Lofgren’s 2016 book, "The Deep State," he argues that in America there are two governments. One of them is a beautiful facade of white marble and Greco-Roman pillars. The other is the actual government.
But maybe that’s okay, right? In truth, it’s comforting to think that someone with a brain is at the wheel. It’s better than having Pelosi in charge. She’s an idiot. So is Biden. They always have been. Only now, they’re stupid and senile. So, let the deep state run things. We can all sleep soundly at night. Or at least until we ask ourselves, “Who is this shadowy figure at the wheel, and where is he taking me?”
I tell you what they don't like. Telling them that their religions are Greek in origin, not just Greek myth but also Greek history (which may in turn be Egyptian but let's not complicate it). Or even telling them that their Greek history is crap. ie that Troy is not on the Turkish coast. Or any history for that matter. Concentrating on wealth. Suggesting that they'll do anything to maintain power like deliberately targeting a Serbian TV station or threatening their Gordian knot (i.e. class not identification). Or their latest nonsense (because it's all nonsense held together at the end of a gun not an intellect) that men can be women.